(Tavern sounds: mugs clinking, laughter, dice rolling in the background)

Gilbreth (chuckling):
“Alright, alright — settle in, you lovely collection of misfits, romantics, and people too drunk to leave. This one’s about the time I accidentally got engaged to a half-elf named Breui Anne Ale… after putting up a wanted poster for a beer.”

(pause)

“No, no, no. Not a bounty poster. Not a job flyer. A wanted poster. For. A. Beer. Just a picture of a mug and the words: 'Desperately Seeking Company – Amber, Cold, and Willing.'”

(hearty laugh)

“Next thing I know, a guard tells me to knock it off. Offers to buy me one if I stop scaring the locals. Nice guy. Big armor. Quiet stare. Turns out — little twist here — that was General Meethus himself. Swear on my ring finger.”

(soft thunk of a ring on wood)

“Now. Here’s the kicker. About fifteen minutes later, in walks Breui Anne Ale. Gorgeous. Confident. Smelled like woodsmoke and secrets. Says, ‘Heard you were looking for something to drink. Thought I’d bring myself instead.’”

(wistful sigh)

“Gave her the pawn ring I picked up at 12th Hand Wares — for dramatic effect, you understand — and wouldn’t you know it, she didn’t give it back.”

(beat)

“So... either I’m engaged. Or I pulled the greatest romantic bluff of the century. Either way, I’m keeping her name.”

[End segment with jingle:]
“Half-truths, whole drinks — and never let the truth ruin a good story.”