Episode 7: “The Time I Tried to Return Something I Stole… and They Gave Me More”
Host: Gilbreth Bernardus
Style: One-part advice, two-parts bragging, three-parts made-up
Setting: A quiet alley beside a pawn shop that mysteriously no longer exists; wind in the background, faint distant chimes.
“Not because it’s fake — but because I’ve worn so many masks, it’s hard to tell which parts were mine to begin with.” -Gilbreth Bernardus
:: TRANSCRIPT ::
Gilbreth exhales slowly — this one has some regret in it.
Gilbreth:
“Alright. I’ll admit it.
I’m not always proud of everything I’ve stolen.
Some things? They stick to your hands even after you give ’em back.”
💎 The Thing I Shouldn’t Have Taken
“It was a brooch. Tiny. Gold-trimmed. Sapphire in the center, like a frozen tear from someone with secrets and expensive taste.”
“I didn’t steal it because it was valuable.
I stole it because she left it behind — on purpose — and I was too afraid to ask why.”
🕰️ The Return
“Three months later, I walk into the pawn shop on Ember Alley. Ring the bell. Place the brooch on the counter.
The shopkeep looks at me, squints, and says,
‘You sure you want to let that go? Most people don’t return curses on their own.’”
(pause)
“That’s when I realized… maybe it wasn’t hers I was carrying.”
“Maybe it was mine.”
💰 And Then They Paid Me
“The shopkeep — strange fellow, smelled like thunder — gives me a small velvet pouch and says:
‘Payment for the lesson you clearly haven’t finished learning.’
I open it later. Inside: a silver coin, a single glove, and a folded note that just said:
‘You were kind to someone once. This is change.’”
🧩 Moral?
“Sometimes when you try to undo something bad…
you get something worse.
Or better. Or something you didn’t even know you needed.”
(long pause)
“I don’t wear the glove. But I keep it. Just in case she comes back for the other one.”
🎶 “Half-truths, whole drinks — and sometimes, the return is more cursed than the theft.” 🎶