Episode 6: “Five Fake Names I Forgot Were Mine”
Host: Gilbreth Bernardus
Style: One-part advice, two-parts bragging, three-parts made-up
Setting: Mid-con. Somewhere between a noble’s library and the wrong end of a duel challenge.
“Not because it’s fake — but because I’ve worn so many masks, it’s hard to tell which parts were mine to begin with.” -Gilbreth Bernardus
:: TRANSCRIPT ::
Rustling papers, nervous chuckle. Gilbreth clears throat like he’s testifying in court.
Gilbreth:
“So there’s this problem with being very charming and moderately dishonest.
Eventually… you forget which you you told someone you were.”
🕶️ Name 1: Velton Sharpe
“Used it to get into a noble’s masquerade ball. Said I was a wine critic. Ended up hosting the event after the real one passed out.”
“Still get letters addressed to Velton. Great calligraphy. Better wine.”
🔍 Name 2: Whisperjack
“Underground card games. Used it to build mystery.
Turns out, there’s a real Whisperjack. He is not amused. Or patient.”
🍞 Name 3: Brother Loaf
“Don’t ask. Involved bread-based theology and a very convincing sermon about yeast as a metaphor for divine intervention.”
“I’m still banned from that bakery.”
🪞 Name 4: Alarion Duskthorn
“Sounds elvish. Looks important. Got me through six border checkpoints.
Only downside? Someone actually named Alarion Duskthorn was on a most-wanted list.
Let’s just say I ran fast.”
🃏 Name 5: Gilbreth Bernardus
(longer pause)
“Yeah. That’s the one I forget sometimes too.”“Not because it’s fake — but because I’ve worn so many masks, it’s hard to tell which parts were mine to begin with.”
(beat)
“Still… I think I like him. Gilbreth. He means well. Usually.”
🎶 “Half-truths, whole drinks — and a few names that might still owe you money.” 🎶