Episode 3: “Breui, If You’re Listening… I Still Have Your Ring”
Host: Gilbreth Bernardus
Style: One-part advice, two-parts bragging, three-parts made-up
Setting: A quiet table in a noisy tavern — heart just loud enough to be overheard; tavern ambiance, light harp in the background, fire crackling.
“I still tell people I got engaged once — and every time, the story gets a little more beautiful.” -Gilbreth Bernardus
:: TRANSCRIPT ::
Gilbreth’s voice is unusually gentle — like someone remembering something dangerous.
Gilbreth:
“Right. So.
If you’re Breui Anne Ale — or you know someone who might be Breui Anne Ale — this one’s for you.
And if you’re not, then consider this a… cautionary tale. Or a romance. Or a lie that started sounding too good to let go of.”
💍 The Poster That Changed Everything
“It started with a beer. Or at least, the idea of a beer.
I was drunk, inspired, and in a creative rut. So I drew up a wanted poster:
“WANTED — One Drink. Cold, Dark, and Willing.”
Plastered it on six taverns and a goat.”
“Some guard stopped me. Said I was disturbing the public peace. Offered me a pint if I’d stop.
Looked important, that one. Quiet voice. Polished armor. Might’ve been General Meethus. Might’ve been a dream. Who knows.”
🧝 Enter Breui Anne Ale
“Fifteen minutes later, she walks in — tall, half-elven, and glowing with that kind of trouble you want to write songs about.
She didn’t bring a beer.
She was the beer.”
(laughs softly)
“Told me she liked my poster. Said it was the most honest thing she’d seen in Borjira. Which, to be fair, isn’t a high bar.”
💍 The Ring
“Pulled a ring from my coat — pawn shop piece from 12th Hand Wares. Shiny, cheap, little crack in the band.
I gave it to her with the line:
‘If you’re going to drink with me, I should at least try to marry you first.’
She took it. Didn’t give it back.”
(pause)
“Still don’t know if we’re engaged.
Still don’t know if she was real.”
(softer)
“But I still have a bottle she left. Empty. Haven’t thrown it out.”
📜 Final Words
“Breui, if you’re out there… and if you’re listening…
I still have your ring.
I still wear it on odd days.I still tell people I got engaged once — and every time, the story gets a little more beautiful.”
(Chair slides back. Gilbreth clinks glass gently.)
“Next time on Half-Truths, Whole Drinks — a deep dive into the time I accidentally became a priest.
Spoiler: It involves a fake book, a real demon, and a confession I didn’t mean to say out loud.”‘Til then — love foolishly, drink smartly, and never trust a ring without a story.”
🎶 “Half-truths, whole drinks — and if it breaks your heart, make it rhyme.” 🎶