John Boy Pentherguist :: the troll, coi, and philly big kabold audible theatric extravaganzae Episode 2
Awesome — the first chunk of the WZKR Radio episode is live in the document! We’ve kicked off with:
- 🎙️ The Troll, Coi, and Philly Big Kabold Audible Theatric Extravaganza (10 mins of D&D-style John Boy & Billy).
- 📢 A wild run of commercials with absurd side effects.
- 🌩️ A magically immersive weather report.
- 🧙 A John Boy interlude from a gnome with a banshee date gone wrong.
Next up:
- More commercials
- 30 minutes of a news report (we’ll layer in Carceris drama, magical policies, and party gossip)
- A quirky market report from Borjira
- A hilarious set of meta music and commercials about music
- And a full-blown, weird-as-heck call-in show and storytelling hour with strange ads.
✅ SEGMENT 2: Commercials (10 mins)
- Featured Ads:
- Geldor’s Goblin-Grade Coffee
- Rune-A-Way Insurance
- The Wandler (smart wand)
- Dungeon Date app
- Back-Alley Bard School
- Sludge Soap
- Style: Fast-paced, magical ad parodies with ridiculous disclaimers and auctioneer-style voiceovers.
✅ SEGMENT 3: Weather Report (5 mins)
- Host: Weather Wizard Windemar Featherquill
- Forecast Areas:
- Carceris Proper (ashfall, illusionary fog)
- Velkryn Heights (Blightwinds)
- Boonestyre Towers (weather spirit protest)
- Gloaming Gardens (dreamleek spore fog)
- Listener Reports:
- Tornado made of spell scrolls
- Reverse rain
- “The sky is watching me”
- Style: Lush magical worldbuilding, surreal and poetic with dry humor.
✅ SEGMENT 4: John Boy Returns (5 mins)
- Host: John Boy Picklegraft (backwoods gnome)
- Stories:
- Infernal possum familiar
- Marriage to a coat rack
- Rivalry with Tarnish McStrum (foot-lute bard)
- Tip of the Day: Avoid goblin mating season moonlight
- Style: Wholesome chaos and exaggerated storytelling.
✅ SEGMENT 5: Commercials (5 mins)
- Ads:
- Cursed Shampoo (“Shine with Regret”)
- Bag of Holding Cleaning Service
- Tavern Time-Share
- Troll, Philly, and Coi Commentary:
- Interjections between ads
- Kobold Cologne pitch
- Complaints about axe polish ads being underrepresented
✅ SEGMENT 6: News Report (30 mins)
- Anchors: Lucinda Skylore and Murk the Unimpressed
- Top Stories:
- Chocolate Golem rampage (Troll reporting live)
- Councilmember’s “Greater Transparency” backfiring
- Familiar-first college protests
- Gloaming Gardens fashion update (Coi)
- Mimic furniture scams
- Guest Interjections:
- Philly Big Kabold with “Cursed or Just Weird?” commentary
- Up next is:
- 🔜 SEGMENT 7: Weather Update (5 mins)
- Let me know if you’d like it stormier, weirder, more poetic, or filled with unintended weather magic cast by listeners!